he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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