how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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