just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
