yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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