he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
