That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
