Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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