Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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