Cold hands, warm shart.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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