I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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