sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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