If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
operation harelip BJ is a go
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
