There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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