I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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