she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
