Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
