I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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