If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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