If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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