You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
