The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
