Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
