There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
