oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Randomize
