Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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