I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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