is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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