Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
