if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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