Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
