All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
