i permit you to call me
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
