New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
