I didn't shave. On purpose
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
