Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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