I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
