is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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