Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You can't just leave with hair like that
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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