This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
