I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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