bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize