Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
