And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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