Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
