come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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