mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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