sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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