fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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