i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
