I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
