Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
