i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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