grandma shit on top of the toilet
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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