What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize