That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
