don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
