Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
