walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Two words: nipple clamps
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