I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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