im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
