Already got asked if we're dating
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
