Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ðŸ‘ðŸ¼
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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