the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
