STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
