Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
