ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
