I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
