i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
how drunk are you?
Several
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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