Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize