Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
