White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
