its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
